This week scientists from Cern announced they may have discovered sub-atomic particles that travel faster than the speed of light. On closer examination, what they were actually looking at were prints of “I Don’t Know How She Does It” leaving theaters.
A King James Bible that went to the moon on Apollo 14 will be auctioned this week. Also on the block: A Gideon Bible that Keith Moon went to the bathroom on in a Motel 6.
Rick Santorum is demanding Google change their search results to fix his “Google Problem.” Google suggests Santorum get a brain transplant to fix his “Rick Santorum Problem.”
“I hear your mom was asking about evolution,” Perry said today. “That’s a theory that is out there — and it’s got some gaps in it.” Perry then told the boy: “In Texas, we teach both creationism and evolution. I figure you’re smart enough to figure out which one is right.”
—The GOP candidates have no time for your “science,” scientists - Salon.com (via scipsy)
Yep, that’s how schools work. You tell kids some things that are true and some things that are made up and you trust that the children will be “smart enough” to figure it out. “America’s first three presidents were George Washington, John Adams and the Green Lantern. Good luck on your AP History test.”
Prestigious architectural firm seeks Project Manager to oversee construction of cutting edge high rise development in Manhattan. Position reports directly to lead architect and will track day-to-day details of building site, communicate with contractors and sub-contractors, track delivery of materials, approve expenses, and special research projects as needed. Only the top applicants will be considered as this is a revolutionary project that will literally change the world. Knowledge of alternative construction materials and ancient Sumerian mythology a plus. Must be able to work long hours with occasional overtime for mandatory company team building exercises. Salary commensurate with experience. Benefits include free medical care, particularly surgery.
Email resume to HR@Shandor&Assoc.com
From what I can tell, this is a legitimate business that offers legitimate services. I can not imagine contacting them for any reason other than to make fun of their name: www.riderdickerson.com
This was sent to me by someone I know and care about deeply, and whose opinions I respect. For comedians I think it’s something worth reading and worth thinking about. The attitudes and jokes discussed below exists all too frequently, and all too casually, in our industry. You might want to dismiss this, but, as a performer, I think it’s a perspective that should at least be considered.
Dear anyone who cares,
It’s probably easy to assume that when a woman slips out of a comedy show, it’s because she has something else to do; somewhere to go; someone to meet.
Consider that one in every five women has been a victim of physical violence, and one out of every six have been sexually assaulted. If you’ve just told a joke involving violence against women, the chances are good that the girl’s slipping out because she came for a laugh but is leaving, hurt.
You might assume that my sensitivity is because I’ve been raped or beaten. I haven’t. I have, however, seen autopsy photos of the misshapen skull of a loved one who’d been shot to death by her husband. Guess what? Not funny.
For me, a joke about violence against women mocks the pain this woman felt as her husband of 29 years sent four bullets searing through her body at point-blank range. She bled for two hours before she died, and medical examiners say she probably remained conscious until the end. She is one among thousands.
Jokes involving violence against women disgust me because the violence itself is disgusting.
Until her murder, this was all abstract to me, as I hope it is for you. Ever since this hit home, however, I’m even more aware that as a woman, I’m smaller and not as strong as most men. I know that if a man wants to rape or kill a woman, they have a good chance at success. I have vivid memories of bloodstains on familiar carpets to prove this.
There’s little chance that you’d be aware of the woman crying in the bar’s bathroom or walking out after the rape joke or the murder bit. Just know they’re there, and if they’re anything like me, they’ll remember the name of the comic that poured salt in the wound. (However unintentionally, it still hurts.)
I could say that I’m speaking on behalf of women who are dead, scared silent or don’t have a mic, but instead I’m just sad about what I’ve heard over the past few years. It’s no surprise that men consistently outnumber women onstage and off - who wants to be in a room where your biggest fears are not only trivialized, but applauded? You cut your audience in half when you disrespect an entire gender. (Feel free to dismiss this; just know it’s probably not the smartest career move on your part.)
On a lighter note, know that I’m not the only woman who finds few things sexier than being with a kind guy who supports a woman’s basic right to feel respected and safe. As you might imagine, there are benefits to having a girl think you’re sexy and kind. Misogyny? Not a turn-on.
Thank you for reading.
P.S. I know this letter might cause some backlash, however, if my honesty has caused you to lose respect for me, I never needed it in the first place.
And by the way, her name was Helen.