This McChrystal story is now so big that massage parlors have changed the term from “happy ending” to “relieved of command.” Just so you know.
As a beneficiary of the Jimmy Dean estate, I am legally prohibited from discussing the provisions of his will, but, as your friend, I can strongly suggest that you buy Johnsonville sausages for the next 2-4 months.
Congrats to the US World Cup team for keeping alive our streak of endless international conflicts with no discernible winners or losers!
The rumor is that Sarah Palin may have had breast implants. The question is, did the McCain campaign pay for them or did she pick them up herself from a consignment shop in Wasilla?
Thank you CA voters for rejecting props 16 and 17. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, you are not as dumb as I think you are.
Fuck This Guy For Caring. Everyone knows that the fastest track to success these days is to set up a photoblog that mocks people for the unforgivable sin of living their lives. Just steal a picture form the internet of someone enjoying themselves or expressing themselves creatively, throw a caption on it that essentially says “What an asshole!” and BAM; instant book deal. I want to hop on this gravy train so I’m starting a new photoblog and it’s called Called “Fuck This Guy For Caring.” Enjoy.
Donating blood?! Way to give a shit, ASSHOLE!
Volunteering at a soup kitchen?! How ‘bout you volunteer to not be lame?
Hey, Lance Armstrong! Good job beating cancer, you fucking idiot!
I can already smell the money. Expect further updates. I will be expecting calls from book publishers.
1) I’m going to start calling my mouth “The Lab” so I can say things like “I need to take this hoagie to The Lab for further analysis.”
2) Don’t tell me that fruit is nature’s candy. I am an adult. I can afford real candy.
3) Maybe Thetans are the reason I can’t loose weight.
The BP Oil Spill is a horrific disaster, but there has to be at least 1 guy out there with a fetish for tar covered birds who’s secretly pretty psyched.
Someone please talk me out of buying the Sprint 4G Evo. Please keep in mind that “you can’t afford it”, while true, is not a compelling enough argument. I have Sprint goddammit! I don’t have a lot of cool phone options!
Dear Peter Jackson,
I am available to direct The Hobbit movie. My only conditions are 1: Warwick Davis play Bilbo and 2: The film be retitled “Willow 2.” Please consider. This offer expires in 72 hours.
Yours In Midgetry,